Masturbation Strike
18FridayNov 2011
Posted by dangerandplay in Uncategorized
Guys who think about game is a subculture, and like other subcultures, certain fads spread. The latest is a masturbation strike. That is, guys are wondering if masturbating sucks away their manly life force.
As it happens, I once went seven weeks without masturbating. Some undoubted and noticeable changes happen.
“Six weeks from now, you’ll start eye fucking the lunch ladies”
I was 17 years old and in Basic Training when the Drill Sgt. told our entire platoon that our entire conception of attractiveness would change. As children often do, we laughed at our mentor. As time often shows, our mentor was right.
One myth about Basic Training is that the cooks put saltpeter in the water supply. It’s a plausible myth because, being teenage boys, we went from masturbated several times daily to not achieving erections for several weeks. There must be something in the water.
The truth is far less interesting.
When you’re up at 4 a.m. each day (on Sunday you could sleep in until 5 a.m.), being screamed at and moving non-stop, you don’t have the energy for an erection. It’s natures way of saying the weak and tired shouldn’t breed.
Eventually your body adapts to the stress, your cortisone levels drop, and your testosterone levels spike. Waking up to a hard on, once taken from granted, is a gift from god.
There’s still a problem. When 64 guys are sharing a bathroom and floor space, there’s no safe place to masturbate. You have a sex drive without a release, and everything changes.
The cafeteria ladies – beasts that made your average lunch lady look like California dimes – do start looking attractive. Suddenly you’re staring at their XXXXXL, cottage-cheese dimpled asses. You imagine suckling from their sagging mammaries.
Eventually you’re on fireguard duty at 2 a.m. with just another soldier. Everyone else is sleep. You can finally find the privacy to masturbate.
You know what you beat off to?
The Sears catalog.
Unlike many of you, I did not grow up on Internet porn. Even so, it’d at least take Cinemax After Dark to arouse me.
Yet when you hadn’t masturbated in almost two months, a woman in a bra and underwear will do it for you.
Not masturbating offers many benefits.
First, it will force you out into the game. If you know you won’t watch porn or self-release, then your body will compel you to seek a release. You will be an approach machine.
Second, it will force you to bang women not of pornstar quality. I tell guys who don’t like vegetables, “Stop eating. In 36 hours, you’ll eat your vegetables.” Stop beating off, you’ll devour formerly unpalatable girls.
Third, if you have a girlfriend, you’ll have huge loads to shoot on and inside of her. Sperm contains chemicals that fight female depression and increase pair bonding. The bigger the loads you give her, the better.
Finally, it will give you heightened senses. Your body exists to reproduce. When you have a full sack of sperm, your body goes on high alert. Colors seem more vivid and sharp. Food seems to have a stronger smell. Your step seems lighter, and your body rapidly marches you onward to some destination.
Going a week without masturbation will lead to more energy and more lays, and therefore earns an unqualified recommendation.
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