Morning is the DANGER ZONE!

I am in greatest danger of relapsing in the mornings when I wake up.  When I originally lost my morning wood, I tried to masturbating it back.  Meaning, in the mornings I would masturbate as a "reminder" - "Hey bro, time for you get UP!"  Obviously it didn't work.  Instead it made things worse and I got in to the practice of masturbating whenever I wake up...which is not a good thing to do.

Furthermore, I learned that if I was still exhausted when I woke up, sexual stimulation (fantasy) was a great way to get my system going and get me out of bed.  The problem is, I easily get wrapped up into it and eventually I would edged for hours before getting out of bed.

Two out of the last three mornings have been really close to relapsing which is why I am writing this down now.  A preparation for battle with the evil inclination :-)

When I did bio-feedback (I know do nuro-feedback which is helping a lot with the impulsiveness), it was recommend that I listen to "Baroque for Beauty Sleep" to get the brain in the right mood for sleep.  I am listening to it now as I type this on the computer, which, along with tv, is the worst thing to be involved with before sleep.

Though that does remind of a time in college that my roommate and I were so tired one early evening that we took a power nap yet we were blasting The Prodigy Fat of the Lamb....which is one of the most hardcore techno albums ever, which should be impossible to fall asleep to.  We had the lights off and I just remember the glow of the computer screen our other friend was using while we sleep.  Such a surreal thing only happens in college...however college was still a waste of time and money for me...but back to the point...

Sleep good, porn bad.  Sex good (sex with a wife better) masturbation bad.  Waking up motivated good, walking up with fantasy and edging SUPERBAD!  Orgasm after 20 days off holding back, BAD.  

Reuniting.info and YBOP - Good!  Continuing to write this blog post after making my point - bad.