Radio Show

Here is a link to Gary's (founder of Yourbrainonporn.com) radio show.  Talking about no "flapping" - http://archive.org/details/yourBrainInTheCybersexJungleShowNo.5

Been over a year...

...since I've been trying to get of of porn.  The good news is I am no longer masturbating and viewing porn everyday.  I was say I view porn once every two weeks.   I'm writing this because I just relapsed.  I remember how confident I was when I started this process.  I feel so low right now but I've come a long way since, I just can't see the good.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get my full erection back.  I want to be in a relationship and fulfill my partner sexually...how can I do either right now due to porn induced ED?

I also haven't been posting here.  I was posting at reuniting.info but they made a new site, yourbrainreblanced.com .  I don't like the site because I never get any feedback.

Feeling like shit right now...

I haven't posted in a few weeks...

...or have I :-)

To see what I've been up to check out - http://www.reuniting.info/blog/6631 .

I haven't had time to do both blogs....sorry

What Gives...?

So I woke up in the middle of the night or earlier this morning with a nocturnal erection, bigger than the ones I have had recently...my mind began to focus on it and I got excited but the minute I did the erection started to go down, I quickly reach down to touch it, to see if it was real, and it was, but the erection quickly faded.

This didn't happen with the past noctounral erection, which were firmer not necessarily bigger. It really only happens when I notice that my erection is becoming bigger than my Porn Induced minimal erection.

Whats the deal with that? Why is it that whenever I focus on having an erection it starts to go away. Am I shy from myself?

A good night tonight but...

......I remained depressed for some reason. I think this is the alcohol. Its such a depressant. Even though things went really well tonight, I'm down on myself.

I went to an art gallery tonight and I had some great interaction with women today. They really responded to me when I looked at them. They responded almost instantly and I did the same. One came over to where I was looking at a piece of art and started talking but I go very nervous and did really speak much. I think she got uncomfortable and walked away. I made up for it but approaching her and speaking to her for a bit. One woman and I kept exchanging some glances and when ever we passed each other gave big genuine smiles...she even seem a but shy by it and would quickly look away and look back while smiling. She did have the same guy with her the whole time though so we never spoke at length.

I was in a much calmer mind set tonight too. I had two prolonged conversations with one of the artists. I first saw her outside and she gave me this great smile and she said HI to each other. Later she came in and passed with with a huge smile looking right in my eyes, and I responded in kind. Later we had our first conversation. The first one I was much more comfortable. It felt really good. I was nervous yet calm. My mind wasn't racing. I wasn't in complete flirt mood but it worked. I messed up a little bit but she had a smile on the whole time. Later we spoke again. She did tell me to visit her were she works. I have to speak to my friend who ran the event first before I do.

I caught my self fantasying about her but not aggressive porn thoughts; they were about bonding behavior like laughing, talking, the first touch and kiss, etc.

The Big "F" Recount

So today is day 45 of no pm and day 48 of no o. However, there has barely been a day without the big F - Fantasy. Last night I had cravings and while there were some temptations to look at porn I brushed it aside. I have reach for my dick a few times over these 45 days but never more than a touch. So in terms of the p and the m, I'm fairly certain I've got them under control and my brain has becomes rewired to avoid them.

However, fantasies are killing me. I'm going to start tomorrow count Day 1 of no Fantasying. I've been fantasizing about every thing since I was a little kid. I had to, not a lot of friends and I have ADHD so. Its uniquely developed.

I am definitely getting dopamine hits from it. I noticed my fantasies just like porn, will start of light and then get super aggressive. And of course I'll get some what of an erection and will rub myself into my bed....so wait...that counts as masturbation right? Actually last night I was very close to cuming from doing that - EDGING, big no no.

So maybe I need to start tomorrow over be day one of no M and F. So tomorrow it will be no O - 48, no P 45 and no F and M day 1.

What do you guys think? I think its only fair to the process to count accurately. And what other tips do you have for fantasy...because I guess I still feel there is a part of me that thinks that fantasying is ok.

I did get new melatonin brands. This one is liquid drops. The other brand I had was to powerful I think. Hopefully that will help me sleep.

Almost relapsed...still might...

Sun, 2011-12-11 01:30 — StartingOver

...I couldn't sleep so I turned on the computer. I didn't look at porn, didn't need to. I looked a sexually suggestive picture. Tried to go to bed after that. One thing lead to another. My fantasies are intense enough where I am going dopamine hits, real solid ones. I'm going to try an watch some Hulu, take my mind off of it.

• StartingOver's blog
 
• Quote

Last Note before bed

THose old urges started coming back. I noticed, I'm on the computer at 1:40am. Nothing good can come from that. I'm shutting it the moment I hit post comment.

Friday night through Saturday Night

Last night I had more to drink then I usually do. Couldn't fall a sleep. When I woke up I was very tired. Unfortunately, I spent to much time in bed fantasying and edging, so my day started off very late.

I went to the tell end of a singles event. The women seemed into me but I felt to closed off to do anything. There was one woman I really wanted to go up to but I think inside the fear of rejection was there. But I also felt uncomfortable. Someone I knew ran it, an the one of the first "check you out" looks I got was from his wife. That through me for a loop and messed up my mojo. All I saw were dude going up to the girls, spend a few minutes talking and then gone, another one was in. There was one I should have approached but didn't. Women don't want you to "check them out" for too long, they want to see, want and approach. She gave me such a smile and tranced look....bad on me...but you know what, I didn't go into there with the right attitude. Those people were there to meet someone...I was just there.

I also found out tonight that the woman I took out did think we were a match but the woman that set us up really stress how she felt I was a great date, and she really enjoyed it. I'm cool with that but I was had be questions to.

Anyway, just got home.

Good night

Masturbation Strike

Written by someone on Reuniting.info....

Masturbation Strike

18FridayNov 2011

Posted by dangerandplay in Uncategorized

Guys who think about game is a subculture, and like other subcultures, certain fads spread. The latest is a masturbation strike. That is, guys are wondering if masturbating sucks away their manly life force.

As it happens, I once went seven weeks without masturbating. Some undoubted and noticeable changes happen.

“Six weeks from now, you’ll start eye fucking the lunch ladies”

I was 17 years old and in Basic Training when the Drill Sgt. told our entire platoon that our entire conception of attractiveness would change. As children often do, we laughed at our mentor. As time often shows, our mentor was right.

One myth about Basic Training is that the cooks put saltpeter in the water supply. It’s a plausible myth because, being teenage boys, we went from masturbated several times daily to not achieving erections for several weeks. There must be something in the water.

The truth is far less interesting.

When you’re up at 4 a.m. each day (on Sunday you could sleep in until 5 a.m.), being screamed at and moving non-stop, you don’t have the energy for an erection. It’s natures way of saying the weak and tired shouldn’t breed.

Eventually your body adapts to the stress, your cortisone levels drop, and your testosterone levels spike. Waking up to a hard on, once taken from granted, is a gift from god.

There’s still a problem. When 64 guys are sharing a bathroom and floor space, there’s no safe place to masturbate. You have a sex drive without a release, and everything changes.

The cafeteria ladies – beasts that made your average lunch lady look like California dimes – do start looking attractive. Suddenly you’re staring at their XXXXXL, cottage-cheese dimpled asses. You imagine suckling from their sagging mammaries.

Eventually you’re on fireguard duty at 2 a.m. with just another soldier. Everyone else is sleep. You can finally find the privacy to masturbate.

You know what you beat off to?

The Sears catalog.

Unlike many of you, I did not grow up on Internet porn. Even so, it’d at least take Cinemax After Dark to arouse me.

Yet when you hadn’t masturbated in almost two months, a woman in a bra and underwear will do it for you.

Not masturbating offers many benefits.

First, it will force you out into the game. If you know you won’t watch porn or self-release, then your body will compel you to seek a release. You will be an approach machine.

Second, it will force you to bang women not of pornstar quality. I tell guys who don’t like vegetables, “Stop eating. In 36 hours, you’ll eat your vegetables.” Stop beating off, you’ll devour formerly unpalatable girls.

Third, if you have a girlfriend, you’ll have huge loads to shoot on and inside of her. Sperm contains chemicals that fight female depression and increase pair bonding. The bigger the loads you give her, the better.

Finally, it will give you heightened senses. Your body exists to reproduce. When you have a full sack of sperm, your body goes on high alert. Colors seem more vivid and sharp. Food seems to have a stronger smell. Your step seems lighter, and your body rapidly marches you onward to some destination.

Going a week without masturbation will lead to more energy and more lays, and therefore earns an unqualified recommendation.