So today is day 45 of no pm and day 48 of no o. However, there has barely been a day without the big F - Fantasy. Last night I had cravings and while there were some temptations to look at porn I brushed it aside. I have reach for my dick a few times over these 45 days but never more than a touch. So in terms of the p and the m, I'm fairly certain I've got them under control and my brain has becomes rewired to avoid them.
However, fantasies are killing me. I'm going to start tomorrow count Day 1 of no Fantasying. I've been fantasizing about every thing since I was a little kid. I had to, not a lot of friends and I have ADHD so. Its uniquely developed.
I am definitely getting dopamine hits from it. I noticed my fantasies just like porn, will start of light and then get super aggressive. And of course I'll get some what of an erection and will rub myself into my bed....so wait...that counts as masturbation right? Actually last night I was very close to cuming from doing that - EDGING, big no no.
So maybe I need to start tomorrow over be day one of no M and F. So tomorrow it will be no O - 48, no P 45 and no F and M day 1.
What do you guys think? I think its only fair to the process to count accurately. And what other tips do you have for fantasy...because I guess I still feel there is a part of me that thinks that fantasying is ok.
I did get new melatonin brands. This one is liquid drops. The other brand I had was to powerful I think. Hopefully that will help me sleep.