Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Big "F" Recount

So today is day 45 of no pm and day 48 of no o. However, there has barely been a day without the big F - Fantasy. Last night I had cravings and while there were some temptations to look at porn I brushed it aside. I have reach for my dick a few times over these 45 days but never more than a touch. So in terms of the p and the m, I'm fairly certain I've got them under control and my brain has becomes rewired to avoid them.
However, fantasies are killing me. I'm going to start tomorrow count Day 1 of no Fantasying. I've been fantasizing about every thing since I was a little kid. I had to, not a lot of friends and I have ADHD so. Its uniquely developed.
I am definitely getting dopamine hits from it. I noticed my fantasies just like porn, will start of light and then get super aggressive. And of course I'll get some what of an erection and will rub myself into my wait...that counts as masturbation right? Actually last night I was very close to cuming from doing that - EDGING, big no no.
So maybe I need to start tomorrow over be day one of no M and F. So tomorrow it will be no O - 48, no P 45 and no F and M day 1.
What do you guys think? I think its only fair to the process to count accurately. And what other tips do you have for fantasy...because I guess I still feel there is a part of me that thinks that fantasying is ok.
I did get new melatonin brands. This one is liquid drops. The other brand I had was to powerful I think. Hopefully that will help me sleep.


  1. fantasies will only hold you back. I avoided masturbation but continued the fantasies. I relapsed on day 90.

    This time am avoiding the fantasies. Am rewiring by having a real girl in my life. Am training the brain to learn the only stimulation is from a real girl.

    Am 31 and I suffer from ED and I had to come clean with the girl. She is willing to wait. We meet for cuddling. I get semi hard on and off when we are together. After we part I get horny but I avoid any fantasy and masturbation and tell my dick the only stimulation it will get is when I hook up with the girl.

    It is just my way of training the dick to only expect stimulation from a real girl.

    In my previous attempt to reboot I replapsed because I was anxious to test myself. This round I will know am healed the day I respond to my girl with a hard one.

  2. Sometimes fantasy and obsession is the result of low serotonin levels.. if you haven't already, check out Dr. Daniel Amen's site at Targeting amino acid therapy (5 HTP) to raise serotonin levels or even a small amount of SSRI like Zoloft can be helpful with obsession and fantasy. Think of it like a hardware software problem. You can install new software but if the underlying hardware isn't working correctly.. the best software in the world still won't work correctly.

  3. There is a product by Mt. Peak Nutritionals called Sleep Easy. It's an amazing sleep aid.. all natural..

    It even has a small amount of 5-HTP to boost serotonin in the brain.

  4. Thank you very much for your feedback. I'll ask my Dr. what he thinks. I have taken http-5 in the past...thanks.

  5. Tryptophan 500mg. Enough said. You can get it from just about any health food store and I have NEVER slept harder. You wake up with a clear head too. Day 8 with dead dick... Age 38.