OK, I know I am breaking my new goal to not use the computer before bed but I wanted to share with you the details of my date before I went to bed. Before you got all hot and heavy, nothing happened. It was an arranged date and there are "rules".
Anyway, the woman who set up the date really stressed how important it was to have my car in tip top shape. My car is from 1995, I've had it since high school (I'm not rich so I haven't gotten a new one). I recently spilled coffee on the passenger side seat and knew I should get it cleaned up but I had also seen a picture of the girl and I knew she wouldn't care. However, I stopped by the car wash to see if they could shampoo it but most importantly if it would be dry by the time I left work. The guy assured me it would be; against my better judgement I listened. It wasn't dry by 4 so I got on the phone with the rental car service and arranged for a rental.
I got to the rental place and clicked with the guys behind the counter quickly (I could never had been so friendly with strangers during my PMO days). Anyway, so they didn't have the car I requested (the cheapest), so he upgrade to a midsize, however when they brought it up front, one of the rim was broken and the tire was leaking air. With no other cars left in that range, what else could they do? They upgraded me...to a FORD MUSTANG! YEAA BABY!!!
I felt like the coolest guy in the neighborhood picking her up in that car. She played it off like she didn't care but when we returned to the car for at the end of the date and I opened the car door for her, she was like "wow, this is like a once in a life time experience. Having someone open the car door of a Mustang for me on a date!" I gave a high five to God for that one.
Anyway, the date went ok for a first date. My physical attraction to her was a natural attraction rather than a "PMO" days attraction. When I looked at her for a bit to see "what angle would I take to kiss her" (even though I wasn't), I realized that not all women are built to be porn fucked. She was on the smaller side, with thin lips...an approach to her would have to be easy at first....the type of physical approach that builds a passionate connection. I did that once with a woman a long time ago who had a similar built. That was some intense sexual sessions we had back then, using the same approach.
We struggled a bit to get to know each other. We weren't totally on the same page. Talked over each a bit (I talked to much as I was excited). I didn't really like that she didn't really "do her self up" but that was I was expecting from the picture. Could be a confidence thing on her part.
I was really excited be out with a woman and she was nice. Plus, I didn't have the sexual pressure that I had in the past from watching porn, where the whole date was a build up on how am I going to make a move and get her to my bedroom where I will then have to explain why I can't get an erection...lol.
Not focusing on the sex part was really nice. So I do know that the feelings I had, at times, during the date of wanting to physically bond with her were genuine. At one point driving her home (after she made the door comment), I said to my self "oh this is what this feels like" when I had that "feeling" in side when you want to press yourself up against another human but an affectionate way...in a natural way a UNPORN-O-FIED way.
Anyway, it was a nice date. The only thing I am thinking about now is, can I accept her for being her. Is my attraction really just more of a lowly male feeling of "ah a female! I shall make her mine!" or was I really into her for who she is? And you know what I just realized...those questions Are So F-ING HEALTHY!!!!!! I'm not sitting her analyzing --- I should have made this move? I could said this? I'm back in my room all alone, I fucked up she's not into me, she probably fucking some other guy now, I'm so stupid! How dare she not come back here and suck my dick"
So there is another benefit No PM"F"O, it helps you think like an adult...who would have guessed?