I am more well balanced and confident then I was doing PMFO. Here are example from tonight:
1. I was slightly anxious before hand but I was able to focus on myself, rather than others, and focus on what my goal was being there. I wasn't worried about what others were doing (that voyeur-ism effect porn has on you even if you don't realize it), just what I needed to do.
2. The instructor from my beginner class told me that its best to watch women climb at the beginning because unlike men, who start by climbing with their upper body strength, women have to use their entire bodies to climb, which is the way it was suppose to be done. The first wall I attacked tonight I couldn't get up (pun wasn't intended however...hahah). 3 or 4 times I tried but I couldn't place my feet right. So what happens? A small feminine woman walks over and climbs right up the wall I had been trying to do but couldn't. It was a little humbling but I got a kick out seeing her do it and was happy I learned from her how to accomplish my goal. When I was PMFOing, my sense of manhood would have been crushed by the sight of this. But tonight I just had fun with it and felt no less confident when I finally climb the wall by doing what I watch her do.
3. There was another guy there who was wearing similar religious symbol as me. I took the initiative to be friendly with him when I saw that he noticed me too. We got to speaking and he helped me climb, as he was the more experienced climber. Durning my PMFO days I could never have done that. A. talk to a random guy at a gym in friendly chat. B. take advise from another guy on how to do something. Not only that, later, I told him that next time he comes to this gym to email me (he usually goes to another one) because maybe I'll be going that night too. Durning my PMFO days, when I saw everything through the lenses of sex, swapping info with another guy would have been way to gay for me. Tonight, it was just a friendly conversation with someone I had a few things in common with. Manhood and hetro-ness not effected at the slightest.
Anyway, thanks for reading this and the best of luck to everyone one of us! This site and all of you are a big help.