Saturday, November 19, 2011

A post from

Here is a post from someone who is on day 60!!!!  I post it just so people can get another prospective besides my own.

Yes! Today we made it to day 60.
I'm proud. It's actually weird in a way, but as others mentioned before, after a while the abstaining just gets routine. The last 3 weeks or so seemed so easy, and my mind was so busy with other interesting things to do: music, study, exercising, getting out with friends, meeting new people...
These things defenitely help you in the process, and the fun part is that all these activities become even more intense as our brains now seek their dopamine rush in the little things.
I don't think it wasn't so much 'abstaining' in a strict sense after a while. A year ago I couldn't imagine that a human could make it without sex for so long, so easy.
For me this is a very interesting experiment. I believe I still can be triggered by porn though, even this week flashbacks seemed to come out of nowhere, but deliberately putting them off makes them disappear as fast as they turned up, and just seems the right thing to do.
I'm definetly a better man right now. Before all this, I was planning to work on my flawed social skills in the future. I'm not saying I'm the alpha male all of a sudden, and there is still work to be done on that area, but man, I feel much more comfortable with myself and with others nowadays. Beautiful.
No girlfriend yet, but I'm not interested in a relationship right now. As you can read in my other entries, I've gone through some serious doubts about my sexuality the last year. Porn triggered some weird viewing behaviour, for unforeseen and absurd material, which I now all see as an acquired taste.
So I think I need to give myself some time to getting close to women. It seems more fun to interact with women nowadays though. And I believe it's getting better.
One of the few confusing parts right now are the sexually tinted dreams. Sometimes they cover an early porn scene or really weird stuff. Other times I'm dreaming that I couldn't hold it anymore and relapsed. But I read some advice over here to not give them too much attention. I think that's important. I don't believe dreams reveal an ultimate truth. I do think they bring aspects of inner conflict to the surface, like abstaining from porn is.


No comments:

Post a Comment