Before you read this...I didn't proof read it, and apple auto-correct is a pain in the ass. How you get the point anyway...
Some times I notice women become "uncomfortable" around me. For example, today in the elevator or waiting in the subway. This has happened in the past and I always got down on myself - "Wow, I am so horrible and they so great and mighty?! I so ugly, I suck, yada yada yada." And then I thought about it again.
The women in the elevator was later blatantly looking at me in the waiting room. Maybe she was anxious in the elevator because she was attracted to me and wasn't sure what to do, just as I've become anxious around women I'm attracted to and wasn't sure what to do.
The woman on the subway was minded her own business only to look up and see me looking directly at her as I was talk toward her (there was a clearing behind her). Maybe she was taken back by the sudden attention and wasn't sure what to do rather tan - "Oh MY, THAT GUY IS A MONSTER!" I did see her get a little more animated after I walked by. But I've done the same thing around random women I am attracted to. I want to appear busy for some reason, or to try to avoid showing them and to distract myself, to how attracted I am to them.
For example, when I got in the subway a very attractive woman walked in and I couldn't help but look a "little bit longer" then a normal check out. She noticed and kind of like "accepted the stare", I can't really explain it. Maybe she liked the attention (wait most women love attention). But I didn't want to just sit in stare so I "got busy" and pulled something out to read. Later I looked up and she also had a book out.
On the same subway ride I looked over to my right and saw an attractive woman looking right at me...I didn't know what to do so I looked away...Maybe she thought, "Oh am I so horrible...?".
The point is, we have to look at things positively. Porn used also made me look at things negative, like I was never good enough. Without it I've realized, that I am good enough. And I've also realized most of women in the world are NOT like the women in porn. The truth is we'll never be good enough for the women in porn because they are PORN HOOKERS! The second to last season of Entourage is a perfect example of this. Vince Chase, the biggest actor in Hollywood , with all his money, good looks etc, ends up not being good enough for his pom star girlfriend because she still wants to do porn. They aren't normal. I once saw an interview with a male porn star (who I had see perform) who stopped and became anti-porn because as he got to know the women he preformed with an they all said they had been sexually abused as children.
The truth is, 99% of women AREN'T PORN STARS. They are "normal" like us. They can be shy, nervous, anxious, lonely, etc. The problem is we "want" to cling to them as if they were porn stars BUT THEY AREN'T! We need to realize that porn is as real as Professional Wrestling. They might be actually wrestling but its not REAL.
Let us all let go of the porn and understand that the women we see and meet are real women, who really do want to be with a man but have their on insecurities and fears...just like us. And we need to man up and get up from in front of the computer and take the lead and let them know its ok for them to be with us, that don't expect them to be porn stars and accept them for who they are.
Yes...I know this was a giant ramble but deal with it...its a blog :-)