I've been watching some videos on the meaning of marriage and today I've begun to understand that porn hasn't just affected me physically (dopamine levels and ed) but also the way I view relationships.
A few blogs ago I mentioned how durning my pmfo days, talking to another guy I just met would have been seen as "gay". And why is it that I feel that if I see an attractive women, I go from the thought of talking to her and thinking that she'll be giving me head shortly later?
The porn has wrapped me to think that just because I am sexually attracted to her and therefor I have to immediately fuck her. Talk about about pressure! A woman dressing or behaving in an attractive way is her communicating no verbally (I think) - "approach me, learn more about me, get to know me and then you can have some fun with me." Or more to the point, "NOTICE ME! I'm here and human and would like to talk to you to, give me a chance and come talk to me."
I have to unlearn this concept from porn/movies/tv that you get to jump into bed with a woman 2 minutes after meeting them and its totally normal and no one has any sexual hang ups and don't forget no woman is ever having her period at that time. I've stopped watching tv but torward the end of last seasons Lost I watch a few minutes and of course, the guy meets the women, they got out for dinner and then he is getting out of her bed, all in the course of 2 minutes and 45 secs.
Its more than porn, its the whole hyper-sexualized culture we live in. Maybe thats why we have this need to jerk off to a woman just because we think she is hot. We need to start think "She is hot, let me give it a shot and talk to her regardless if she gives me positive or negative feedback, because I'd rather be doing it WITH her than doing it by myself thinking about her."
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